College Tour


If you spend any time around cars in Westchester, you may notice the back window stickers.  Some tribal branding that has little significance to anyone other than the driver.

  We went to some of those places this week, the ones that are so prominently displayed on the back window.  Yup, that was us, finding a perfect college for my son in five days.  We generously brought him along.

Is there a better way to test the bonds of family then a five-day road trip?   We started off all kumbaya with our meditation tape and kale-ginger shake and ended up world wrestling smack down even before we got to the highway.   Nothing brings out the love more than trying to arrange a person’s entire life for them. 

What an education, and you don’t even know what you are looking at!  Class sizes, vegetarian options, SATs, ethnic diversity – it reminds me of touring hospitals before the birth of my first son; asking all the questions, thinking you know what you are looking at but not having a clue.

So perhaps it is the same with touring colleges with your oldest – excel spreadsheet in hand, cooling evaluating all the variables to find the perfect one.  All while ignoring the fact that your child is leaving you.

It is so much easier to look at the variables rather than to face the emptiness.   My friend Dana used to say when our kids were in kindergarten that parenting is all about getting your child to a place where they can leave home.  And the older I get the more I understand this.  I mean, my brain understands this – my heart is a little slow.

Families are fluid; the players change over time.  The sweet pain of attachment, watching our children grow and our parents age and knowing that nothing is forever.  So enjoy that road trip now.  The rest stop is coming up.

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